Tonight, Tonight, was a disaster.

there's a shield around us
it's invisible & soundless
& we drink too much & fuck too soon
smoke cigarettes in rented rooms
we quit our jobs & shoot the moon
& cut our wrists & sleep til noon

1:30 in the afternoon, and I'm getting ready for work. Work 4-close at Central, and the open the Inman store the next morning. I feel tired. The Bukowskis drained me dry last night, and the ride home was just insufferable. Four days till my birthday and like the wrens song, bored rural lord at 24, yeah right, I'm the best 17-year old ever. Just waisting my time, burning my days with work and stressing out about the car and who I owe money and what, and who do I owe favors to this week, family or friends, and how did I end up with my entire life mortgaged to vapid daydreams and sneering generosities.

there's a shield around us
we are heady we are groundless
& we burn our friends & kill their names
build insecure & petty fames
& tattoo things that we believe
stars & skulls & hearts in half-sleeves


She let me borrow money for gas on my way back to Carver last night, said I shouldn't buy cigarettes with it but I did anyway and let the engine whine down through vapors. I'm being all melodramatic again but frankly I feel like shit so deal with it.


there's a shield around us
tell me how is it you've found us
cause we hide our tracks & watch the ground
our footfalls they don't make a sound
we've cursed the names of our hometowns
we're compassless & nowhere bound

I don't wanna work central tonight.